What is Mickel Therapy? That is the main point of this post. Here is my understanding of it. It is basically understanding what your body is saying to you. Like, all your feelings are experienced in your body, for example if you´re nervous you get a churning in your belly (or pre bike-race you might need to keep going for a wee! Haha!). When you have to spend time with someone you don´t like you can get a headache, or really drained of energy. When you're stressed at work you get a stiff neck. When you're frightened, you get goosepimples. When you ́ve had a severe shock you might faint or throw-up. Big things, small things, we receive it all through reactions in our bodies, right?
So Fibromyalgia, M.E. and Chronic Fatigue are all basically an exaggerated version of that.
For some people, it can be a long, slow build up of ignoring the signs, lots of little things that you accumulate on a day-to-day basis. For others (and for me) it can be a collapse all at once. It is so OBVIOUS now looking back, but at the time I couldn´t see the connection between the stresses in my life and the reaction in my body.
To quickly sum up (because what was happening for me is not what will be happening for you, but to just explain my story), I was driving down to Spain to be with my (now) husband, who was an illegal immigrant, unable to cross boarders, unable to work or go to hospital who was in constant hiding from the police. I had TV work that I was contracted for the next 6 months, so I could fly back and forth for well-paying jobs. But the Bike Channel who I was working for went bankrupt (I found out on Twitter on my drive down south), losing me 6 months of pay and another 6 months of contracted wage that I had been counting on. It was a life changing amount of money. A huge amount. Suddenly I found myself in Spain in a place where I don´t really speak the language with no money and unable to use my presenting skills to get a job. I was pretty screwed, supporting my partner without the support network of our friends and families back home, it was an impossible situation. But I kept positive. I kept a smile on my face and honestly, it´s so stupid, but I was genuinely confused as to why I had searing anxiety when I told myself that I was capable, adaptable and fine.
But biggest learning last year is that positive thinking and acceptance are not your friends! If you have anxiety, if you have a stiff neck, if you have butterflies in your belly, it means something is bothering you. Yeah, you might be able to say that the stiff neck is from sitting in an office chair for 8 hours a day, but don´t you see? Sitting for that long is not right either. Your body is telling you that. You have a choice to listen and make changes, or not. You can put yourself first.
And then, the thing with Fibromyalgia and the other ones, is that they are so horrifying it can easily keep you trapped. Which I guess is why they say so many people never recover from it. Because you get stuck in a negative cycle. With me, I ended up so ill that I couldn´t work, so our situation got worse and we ended up homeless and I STILL tried to stay positive. At one point, we were living in a field with some crazy religious naked hippies! We were desperate so we ended up in desperate situations. We had no electricity, washed in a river, tried to make a house in a tree out of wood we found in skips and tried to make the best of a bad situation. I tried to look on the bright side. I told myself it was an amazing experience to live off-grid, be auto sustainable and look at the stars at night. But it WASN´T amazing.
It was Gill who got me to admit to her and to myself that I actually really didn´t like it at all. I´m from London, yeah, I love the outdoors but I´m also creative, ambitious and career-driven. Waking up in a field with nothing to stimulate my mind other than how to fend off religious conversion from the christian nut-jobs was just not interesting. I hated it. I frikking HATED it.
Gill convinced me to say that out loud, to take action on it and I risked getting a credit card and rented a real house instead. Within 2 weeks of talking to her, I went from barely being able to walk to going surfing!! It was crazy!